Dave's Mouthwatering Chili

Ingredients:


  • 1.5 pounds beef, in 1 inch cubes (chuck or sirloin is ideal).
  • 1 pound extra lean ground beef.
  • 0.5 pounds pork chop, in 1 inch cubes. This better be the best pork chop you can find. I like my meat chunkier so I won't put up with ground pork.
  • 4 cloves of garlic, finely chopped like in the show.
  • 1 large onion, finely chopped.
  • 1 poblano pepper, diced. reen bell pepper will do if you are all about amateur hour.
  • 1 red pepper. It’s not necessary, but I just like to see some red stuff in my chili. you don't have to like it 'cuz you are a noob.
  • 2 jalapeno peppers, diced. You don't have to keep all the seeds 'cuz you are obviously a school girl who couldn't handle the heat.
  • 1 12 oz can beer-lager. Go cheap , dude.
  • 1 can pinto beans.
  • 1 can kidney beans.
  • 1 can diced tomatoes.
  • 1 can tomato paste.

The following spices are purely personal preferences. I feel like a bold flavored chili, so I am gonna use a shit load of these. I highly recommend you to feel free to add or reduce whatever you prefer. I just don't want to hear any crying, and I couldn't care less if you do.

  • 2 tbsp beef stock.
  • 1 tbsp dried oregano.
  • 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder.
  • 1 tsp AP flour.
  • 1 tbsp cumin.
  • 2 tbsp paprika.
  • 4 tbsp chili powder.
  • 1 tbsp ground cayenne pepper + more to taste.
  • 1/2 tbsp ground cinnamon.
  • 1 tsp coriander seed.

Preparation:


  1. In the same pot that you will be stewing the chili in, heat the oil over medium heat.
  2. Add diced onions and garlic, stir for 1 minute, add and brown the cubed meat and pre-cooked ground beef.
  3. Add diced pepper and jalapeno, then get your sister to mix it well, and let it cook for a bit.
  4. Add beer (try not to drink it all, save some for cooking, but definitely finish whatever is left).
  5. Throw all the spices into the pot and stir to make sure this is very evenly distributed.
  6. Allow chili to come to a boil, then add beans, tomatoes, paste.
  7. Bring back to a boil, lower heat, and simmer over low heat for 1 hour. Look it up in the dictionary if you don't know what it means to simmer.

Easy enough? Better be. I wouldn't worry so much about making a mess while doing this 'cuz your mum will obviously clean up after you 'cuz come on! That's her job, shiiiit.